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W. C. Fields - From the Attitude category:
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Attitude category:
Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Audience category:
If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, baffle them with bull. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Choices category:
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Complaining category:
Some weasel took the cork out of my lunch... (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Critics category:
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Danger category:
The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Drunkenness category:
A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Drunkenness category:
Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Drunkenness category:
Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting? (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Drunkenness category:
Now don't say you can't swear off drinking; it's easy. I've done it a thousand times. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Gender category:
Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to own one. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Health category:
Don't worry about your heart, it will last you as long as you live. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Health category:
I never drink water; that is the stuff that rusts pipes. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Health category:
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Humanity category:
How is the human race going to survive now that the cost of living has gone up two dollars a quart? (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Indolence category:
The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Money category:
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Persistence category:
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Pets category:
The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Politics category:
I never vote for anyone; I always vote against. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Prosperity category:
If there's a will, prosperity can't be far behind. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Senses category:
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Sleep category:
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. (W. C. Fields)
W. C. Fields - From the Sleep category:
Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. (W. C. Fields)
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