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Henny Youngman - From the Complaining category:
My son complains about headaches. I tell him all the time, when you get out of bed, it's feet first! (Henny Youngman)
Henny Youngman - From the Drunkenness category:
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. (Henny Youngman)
Henny Youngman - From the Happiness category:
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. (Henny Youngman)
Henny Youngman - From the Happiness category:
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. (Henny Youngman)
Henny Youngman - From the Health category:
I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places. (Henny Youngman)
Henny Youngman - From the Information category:
How to drive a guy crazy: send him a telegram and on the top put 'page 2.' (Henny Youngman)
Henny Youngman - From the Money category:
I've got all the money I'll ever need, if I die by four o'clock. (Henny Youngman)
Henny Youngman - From the Religion category:
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. (Henny Youngman)
Henny Youngman - From the Risk category:
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving. (Henny Youngman)
Henny Youngman - From the Sleep category:
If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. (Henny Youngman)
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